In small doses...

There are so many things that shape your life and the way you are. Of course, everyone knows this. But it’s only when you realize it yourself that you start quoting it to other people.

Sometimes, when you actually try to get into the depth of things, you realize that small, and I mean EXTREMELY small and unimportant events that might have taken place long back when you were probably a kid, remain pasted into your memory. This is where I suddenly feel what a huge deal parenting must be.

I remember how my father used to draw a bird on my palm every day. It was no extraordinary bird, a rather plain one in fact. But it became more like a routine until my mother decided to stop it. She hates any kind of ink marks on the skin! But even today, I remember that bird so vividly- maybe because I relate it to freedom and independence. I have no idea!

I was pretty much a loner when I was small. I loved to spend time with myself, explore places, observe things around me, read, write- there seemed to be no end to the things I could do! I never got bored or felt the need for company. My mum tried desperately to make me talk to other kids and play with them. She even had to resort to harsh measures such as shutting me out of the house for the entire evening, in the hope that I’ll make friends! It’s probably because of her efforts that I have so many friends today!

But I suppose there does come a time when we all need company. And my time came when I started getting bullied by people around me. Many kids get bullied, of course. But, it was the first time I realized what it felt like to be hurt. I just couldn’t handle it! And till date, this feeling scares me more than anything- being hurt by someone. There have been times when I have ended things or put a stop to things just because I didn’t want to ‘get hurt’ in the future. Thankfully, I have no regrets in life so far.

I seem to have drifted away from the topic..or maybe not. I tend to ramble a lot while writing. I don’t even have any idea about this blog or what I want to write here. Yes, the name of the blog clearly shows that it’s about life in general. But I wonder why I chose such a vague yet common theme for my blog. Maybe..because for me, everything has been figured out. Everything..except, how to live life.